What is too dependent?

My husband and I have been having this discussion about people who are dependent on something. What’s he’s referring to though is drugs, cigarettes and alcohol. His option as I see it is that if you are dependent on something then you should stop having it, so your now not dependent.

From my understanding dependency comes in many forms. If you want to go to extremes people that have strong drugs such as heroin would make life for themselves and the people around them a living nightmare. Then you have people who smoke and they are equally as dependant as someone who is addicted of illegal drugs. It’s just that it is legal for an 18+ to buy and smoke. Take the smokes away from smokers and see what happens, they aren’t very nice for a while. But are they harming anyone else but themselves by smoking, bearing in mind that they would be smoking outside and away from others. This I don’t have a large problem with however maybe they should be forced to pay for their medical requirements, as it is known that smokers have more problems later in life than someone who doesn’t smoke. Then again the government could just make it illegal, but they won’t because of the amount of money that they are making from them.

Then you have the people who drink alcohol. Some can’t stand not having a drink in their hands all day, from when they wake to when they sleep. These people normally have issues holding a job and family together. This is when it is going to affect others. Then you have the people who are still dependant on alcohol, however they wait till after working hours and then they have a drink or four (some cases many more). What defines the difference between dependence? What is considered to be too dependent?

The other question that comes to mind if we are going to talk about dependence and what is too dependent is, what about relationships? Is it bad if someone or both in a relationship is dependent on each other and to what extent is too much? For example, a woman has been married to a man for let’s say four years they have had one child together and considering having another. The woman hasn’t been back to work since having their first child. She would be dependent on the man, for many things, from bringing home the income for the family to doing lawn mowing if that’s his contribution to the household chores.  Is this too dependent?

What about the people who really shouldn’t be going to buy fast food. Many of them say the typical things that most people who are addicted to something say, “I don’t eat much and when I do eat I eat healthy foods” however like most who are addicted they don’t even notice the amount of bad food that is being consumed. The next thing you normally see people like this do is go and order a diet coke (because that so much better. Not) and a big plate of food consisting of chips, sour cream, cheese and maybe some chicken with salad on the side. The salad is normally still there when they leave.  Also, just because a person doesn’t look fat doesn’t mean that they aren’t fat. There are people who fit into size 10 (AUS) and still have more than 30% body fat. So again what is too dependent?

When I think of someone who is dependant, I think of someone that can’t go without whatever it is that they are dependent on for any length of time. Who could honestly say that once they have had a child and a husband that brings the income in each week could go without that and still have the same lifestyle as when he was around. This is not saying that there is anything wrong with single parents. The fact that the woman would have to go back to work the lifestyle has already changed at that point; there is less time for the child, less time for herself and so on. To be dependent on a partner, is it too much?

Is it really that bad if someone who is dependent on alcohol comes home after working all day and had a couple of drinks, who still gets up the next morning to go to work all over again. Australian’s are known for the drinking culture. Most don’t go overboard however there will always be the outliers. What’s the difference between Australian’s and some of the countries in say Europe where from a very young age they have alcohol with dinner? 

What is too dependent?